Learning from failure
"Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts" - Winston Churchill.
To say that I’m grateful for failing my first attempt at the Iyengar Yoga Introductory Level 2 assessment two years ago sounds so cliched... but it’s true!
Unless you've gone through it or a similar experience, you probably won't understand or relate to the idea of failing as something that is beneficial and helpful to your personal growth and development.
I didn’t fully realise myself, the significant effect that failing would have on my life and practice. I was just so disappointed and embarrassed when I didn't pass in 2017.
At the time, I thought I had done enough but looking back I can see that while I had put in the hours and done the physical asana work, I probably had not done enough of the internal work. The real yoga!
At first, I remained fixated on the asanas - the physical poses I had trouble with and tried to get my heels down. I continued to focus on the external and physical.
But failing also gave me another gift; the chance to step back. It gave me the time and space to soften, be vulnerable and settle into myself and all of my failures. As a result I began to question myself and my commitment to the practice... I began to look and work deeper.
American author Helen Keller said, "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
Do you see failure as something negative to avoid? Have you failed and given up or did you find the strength to try again?
Here's a funny thing I've realised - whether you fail or succeed there's still an emotional rollercoaster to ride afterwards. Sure, passing assessment left me feeling relieved and proud. There was also a sense of freedom and a release that came - after working towards a goal for so long. But there was also an emptiness.
To suddenly have nothing ahead of me feels strange and unfamiliar. No goal, no ambition, no challenge. This is what success feels like. Nothing has changed in or around me, so I can't help but wonder - now what?! The answer is pretty simple, if not a little boring...
Nothing magical happens - you don’t develop special powers. You just keep doing the same thing you’ve always been doing. You continue to practice, teach and learn. That's it!
I guess it would be like planning a wedding or a big event – there’s a lot of hard work that goes into it, the day itself is a bit of a blur and then when it’s all over and life goes on...
So, now I think that failure isn’t such a bitter pill, and success may not taste as sweet as we think it will!
Barrack Obama said, "The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. It's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere."
While I’m not ready to think about the next levels of the Iyengar yoga certification system (I have MANY YEARS of practice and learning to do) - I'm much more open to failing now and hope I'll be able to invite it the same way as I seek success in the future - with an open heart and mind.
Join me on the mat to keep moving forward - regardless of what is or isn't working out the way we want…
Someone I loved once
gave me a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this too, was a gift.
- Mary Oliver
